In a previous meeting we talked about how easy it was to see the signs of a relapse when looking backward in time and how difficult it was to see them as they are occurring. Looking back on a relapse in your family, please leave a comment on some of the signs you saw before the relapse occurred. Also, you may want to check out the relapse information on the HBO site.
There is a lot of information on the HBO site. I plan on spending some time there.
The cartoon is from this months Readers Digest.
Relapse
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4 comments:
Home Alone said...
Good cartoon. I saw the red flags, but the one waving them was colorblind and undeterred. They were: fewer 12-step meetings, no contact w/sponsor (and lied about it), falling grades, obsession with earning $$, obsession w/opposite sex, no interest in celebrating a milestone clean date anniversary. Recovery was not #1. Parents need to know the relapse occurs in the mind long before they pick up the drug again.
March 18, 2007 5:17:00 PM EST
LloydWoodward said...
I think this is really helpful, Ken. I love the cartoon too.
Hind sight is 20- 20; but there is a lot that we can learn from failure. One of the biggest signs that teens tell me they missed, is that their "we" of the program was telling them that they were not working a good 12-step program. At the time, the teens don't want to hear it, but looking back, they say, "Yeah, eveyone was telling me that I was in trouble."
Also, for dual diagnosis teens, not taking their medication seems to be a huge flag.
To help structure for success in recovery- it can help if we get our teens to identify their flags, and then decide (hopefully before they are released from treatment) on a plan of action that THEY will take if these same flags pop up.
March 19, 2007 11:14:00 AM EST
Mary said...
Someone MUST be in RECOVERY in order to RELAPSE. If someone is not working a good, strong, program they are simply "not using" rather than being in recovery.
Three important things I learned about RELAPSE while my son was in outpatient:
1. Overconfidence can result in relapse- thinking "I have this licked"...
2. Resentment- being mad that you are an addict can result in relapse.
3. Forgetting the pain that brought you to the rooms of NA can also result in relapse. This is why 12 step meetings are so important & why they must work. Every time a new member comes to a meeting & shares their experience- that reminds someone else remember his/her own pain the first time they attended an NA meeting.
March 19, 2007 9:18:00 PM EST
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It is said that a greatful addict will not get high. When gratitude exits, relapse often makes it's entrance. But what can be done when a parent notices that the teenager's attitude has changed and that they no longer act greatful for anything- but to the contrary, they express a strong feeling of entitlement. Point it out. Pay attention to it. None of us want to become nags, but you can't ignore this clear of a relpase trigger either.
Dad: I am not an expert on recovery Son, you know that.
Son: Yeah, but that never stops you from acting like you're one, does it?
Dad: Good point Son! Tell me something?
Son: What?
Dad: I've heard it said that a greatful addict will not get high. And frankly, I'm wondering how much you still feel any gratitude for things. I know when you first got out of the rehab you seemed greatful for a lot of things.
Son: We'll that was when I first got out...
Dad: Wondering what you feel greatful for today.
Son: I'm more angry about stuff. I just want to be normal.
Dad: I'm worried. Seems like your recovery is in jeopardy. Is there anything I can do to help.
Son: No.
Dad: Well, help me out here OK, cause I am real concerned.
Son: What?
Dad: Well I'm told that gratitude is an action word-have you heard it put that way?
Son: Of course.
Dad: Well you could show how you're greatful for what your mother and I do for you every day?
Son: How?
Dad: Well we can figure out something. I would hope that you talk to your sponsor about it. Then you could get back to me. Don't get me wrong- I have some ideas of my own- you could help around here a lot more- without being asked to...There is always a ton of stuff that needs to be done at home...
Terrific job putting this blog together Mary!
Another red flag:
When the recovering addict decides that meetings aren't important - they're boring and they don't help with recovery. The addict doesn't even go into the meetings. He/she stays outside and socializes with others.
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